


Comes Out Wrong

by Sineala



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, New Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Consent Issues, F/F, Identity Issues, New Avengers Vol. 1 (2004), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 02:28:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17458874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sineala/pseuds/Sineala
Summary: The Skrulls have been defeated. Jess is finally free, and she's finally here with Carol. And Carol wants Jess just as much as Jess wants her. And Carol is really, really, stupendously good in bed. Everything should be perfect.





	Comes Out Wrong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ironlawyer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ironlawyer/gifts).



> This is a PWP set after Jess' return in Secret Invasion that is... angstier than it looks on the surface. There is no non-con between Carol and Jess, but there's a consent- and identity-related plot element that is difficult to tag for without spoilers; if you want spoilers, details are in the endnotes.

Jess is so stupidly happy to be alive that she finally does it. She makes her move.

Carol's been standing too close and has been looking a little too long at her ever since she stepped out of the hold of the Skrull ship. It isn't just _Carol's the only one who can stand to look at me_ and it's definitely something more complicated than _oh God maybe she really does think I'm hot_ but Jess will take both of those. It's been months since Jess has seen a human being who wasn't a Skrull and she's desperately lonely and she wants someone's hands all over her skin so much it hurts and it looks like Carol is willing. And maybe this isn't how she ever pictured it but this is how it's happening.

She has the presence of mind to wait until they're alone, or at least sort of alone. They're in some fucking skyscraper -- Avengers Tower, Carol calls it, and apparently Jess has missed a hell of a lot -- and the rest of the team is chattering away in the living area when Jess gets Carol alone in the kitchen.

Carol backs up from the fridge, glass bottle of cream soda in hand, and Jess corners her against the breakfast island. 

"Jess?" Carol asks, quizzically.

Carol turns around as Jess pins her, Jess' hands braced on either side of her, palms flat on the counter. Carol's breath shudders out of her and her eyes go wide and Jess needs this, she _needs this_. Their lips meet. Carol is warm and alive and tastes like lip gloss. Jess' pulse rushes through her head and for the first time in months she feels like she might be human, like something real might finally be happening to her.

Carol freezes, a split second that feels like an eternity, and then she sets the soda down and leans in. She's got one hand on the small of Jess' back and one hand curving around Jess' head, dragging her closer. Her mouth opens, her tongue slips between Jess' lips like an attack, and she's kissing Jess just the way Jess secretly likes it best, deep and rough and messy, licking into her.

If Jess had been thinking about this -- not that Jess had been thinking about it, because thinking about this is a level of planning that she hasn't been doing unless she counts the occasional furtive nights with her vibrator -- she would have pictured a lot more talking. Joking. Flirtation. Coyness, maybe.

That's not what this is. Jess is hot all over, wet and throbbing, her body pounding in the rhythm of Carol's mouth and what could have been discreet, what could have been _do you want to get coffee with me_ , is rapidly descending into _I need you to touch me, right now, and I don't care who walks in_. And that's when Carol half-hops, half-flies back and drags them both up and back and Carol's sitting on the counter and her thigh slides between Jess' legs where Jess is aching for it as Carol's hand dips down to Jess' ass, pressing their bodies together, pinning Jess with super-human strength -- fuck, that shouldn't be as hot as it is -- so that Jess can't do anything but grind up against her, the firmness of Carol's body heavy and hard and exactly what she needs to get off, like Carol is some kind of telepath, like she knows just how Jess needs it--

And then Carol wrenches her head away. Her mouth is bright red, smeared with spit and lip gloss. Her eyes are dark, and she's drawing huge breaths. It's the look she gets before she punches something, but Jess isn't exactly sure that's good. She can't figure it out.

Jess can't form too many thoughts beyond _keep doing what you were doing_.

"Carol?" Jess says.

Carol licks her lips and it's probably nerves but all it's doing is making Jess think about Carol's mouth all over her. "Jess," Carol says. "I-- I--"

Jess doesn't want to hear it, whatever it is. She wants this. Carol wants this. It shouldn't be harder than that.

She doesn't want to talk about it. Can't she have this one thing? Can't this be simple?

"Yes or no?" she hears herself ask, and God, it would serve her right if Carol said no, the way she's asking.

Carol inhales sharply. "Yeah," she says. She smiles. Her smile is gorgeous. "Okay. Yes. Please."

Jess kind of loses track of where they are after that, because Carol's dragging her down a flight of stairs, down an unfamiliar hallway, and into a bedroom that must be hers because it's got her quaint little WWII model airplanes on the desk. Clothes are halfway hanging out of the drawers, a little messier than Carol usually likes it. But the room has a bed, and that's good enough for Jess.

When Jess yanks them both over, she hip-checks the nightstand, which falls with a crash, its contents spilling out, paper flying everywhere. Carol's face twists as she regards the mess. Does she really want to stop and clean that up now?

"Leave it, leave it," Jess chants, with an urgency that even she doesn't quite understand. She rolls Carol over onto the mattress and Carol is warm and solid under her, arching up in a way that makes Jess yearn to straddle her and pin her down and just take what Carol will give her, take what she needs until she stops feeling like a ghost, until everyone she knows stops looking at her like she's already dead.

Carol sees her. The real her. Thank God.

It's Jess' turn again to cross another boundary. She's sitting on Carol's thighs, legs splayed wide, and she is fervently grateful for Carol's ridiculous uniform choices as she slides one hand between Carol's legs, then up and inside the edge of Carol's leotard, pushing it to the side so she can just barely feel her, hot and silky-wet, just like Jess always dreamed Carol would be, wet for her.

The angle's awkward and Jess' wrist is bent to an extremely inadvisable degree, but it's all worth it to be able to slip her fingers down, down, nearly in. Carol shuts her eyes and gasps, and this is happening, this is really happening, this is everything Jess needs.

The fabric stretched over her hand starts to shimmer, and that's when Jess remembers Carol's neat party trick, as Carol's leotard vanishes. She's kept the gloves and thigh boots and mask, and, okay, that is extremely hot. Jess can get into that. Jess is already into that. Jess thinks about getting naked and riding Carol's thigh, smearing her own slickness over the dark fabric.

Carol's still gasping, mouth parted, eyes still shut, as Jess slides a finger against her clit, trying to find a rhythm Carol likes, nice and easy to start, trying not to be too impatient about it, but it's going to fucking kill her if she has to wait for this. She's been waiting her whole damn life. She's been waiting since the night she pulled Carol out of San Francisco Bay, if she's honest with herself.

Honesty. It's going to be Jess' new thing.

Carol's hips rock up against Jess' hand as the rest of her is sprawled out on her back on the mattress, and, God, that's a good view. Jess is well aware that skin-tight costumes don't leave much to the imagination, so it's not like she didn't know what to expect in the T&A department, but Carol's breasts are amazing, quivering ever so slightly as Carol moves against her. Her nipples are hard, a delicate dark pink. Jess wonders if Carol would let her kiss them. Jess would be gentle. Carol looks like that's how she likes it.

Before Jess can lean down, Carol shifts and surges up against her, and she rips Jess' uniform open all the way down the front fastening. Fabric gapes open and, okay, yeah, Jess likes this, Jess likes this even better than her idea. They can do this first.

Carol tears at Jess' costume, shoving it off her shoulders, pushing it down. Jess hears fabric rip and does not care because Carol shimmers a glove away and is finally touching her barehanded, ripping her bra away and lifting her breasts out. It's like they're teenagers on a curfew and that's fine by Jess because Jess needs this right fucking now. Carol pinches her nipple at the exact punishing pressure that Jess loves, harder than most of her lovers give her even with her encouragement.

"Oh, fuck, Carol," Jess moans. "Like that, just like that, that's perfect--"

Carol's only verbal response is a soft moan, but then she pulls Jess forward and over. Jess is half-crouched awkwardly above her, not quite aligned enough to keep touching Carol, and it's not exactly Jess' favorite position because now she can't see, but Carol slides her hand into the wreck they've made of Jess' costume, over her stomach and down and down and oh, yes, _inside_ , and Jess has no complaints whatsoever because Carol's touching her and it's a dream come true.

"Mmm," Jess breathes. "Mmm, Carol, yes, yes--"

She already knows she's going to be fast. It's a foregone conclusion, the way Carol's fingers work on her and in her, the way Carol touches her like she's already learned her. She can feel it building within her, rising. She wants to draw it out, thinks maybe she can, but then Carol, unprompted, lifts her head, licks one of Jess' breasts, and then bites her nipple. Hard. The pinprick of pain focuses everything inside her, a straight line down her spine, and all she can feel is Carol's fingers as she tumbles down into pleasure, and then there's nothing but brightness.

She's alive again.

When she comes back to herself, she realizes she's crushing Carol and, for that matter, she's really left Carol hanging. Well, she can do something about that.

Carol doesn't say anything as Jess slides down a little, settles next to her, turns Carol's face against hers, kisses her. The kiss is sweet, a little less urgent now. It seems like Carol wants to take it slow. Jess can do that. Whatever Carol wants. They can do that. They can do it all. And then they can do it all twice. As many times as Carol wants.

Jess gets her hand between Carol's legs, and, yeah, Carol likes it slow and soft and easy; the barest touch has her panting, which is very good for Jess' ego. It's all good. This was a good idea.

Whatever magic intuition Carol had about Jess doesn't quite seem to have worked in reverse. Jess keeps having to stop, slow down, scale it back. It's not miraculous, but Jess fancies herself pretty good at this anyway, and it's not long before Carol is moaning and pushing at her more insistently, her eyes fallen shut once again.

Jess leans in and kisses Carol as she comes, capturing her shaking breath. Carol makes a sound almost like a sob.

It's sublime.

Jess draws back and smiles. "Hey, there," Jess murmurs. "You have a good time?"

She dares to do another thing she's only dreamed about; she reaches out and brushes Carol's cheekbone with the backs of her fingers. It's not quite possession. But it's... it's a promise.

And that's when Carol breaks.

Her face shutters, dark, cold, tense, and she's grabbing frantically at the sheets, yanking them over herself like she's only now realized she's naked and it's too much, and what the hell is going on?

"Carol?" Jess asks. "Carol, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Carol snaps, but she's rolling over, sitting up, dragging herself to the edge of the bed, pulling the sheet with her.

Jess scrambles after her, perches on the edge of the bed, reaches out for her, but Carol _flinches_ away and something is very wrong.

"If you didn't," Jess tries to say, "if you didn't want this--" and she doesn't know how to say it, can't even name what she thinks she might have done as the world drops away and flattens into a cold void, because Carol had wanted this, Carol had said yes, Carol had smiled at her and taken her to bed, Jess had been so sure that Carol wanted this--

Carol shakes her head wildly. "It's not you. I wanted-- I wanted you-- I thought I could-- it's not you, Jess. It wasn't you."

That's when Jess takes another look around the room. That's when she sees it.

There are shoes by the door that aren't Carol's, red stiletto heels. The red and yellow fabric sticking out of the dresser drawer isn't Carol's costume. Jess glances down, at the mess of papers now spread all over the floor. Some of them are photographs, ripped, torn, burned. One of the more intact ones is of the two of them, arms around each other, laughing. Jess can't remember when it was taken. It doesn't look familiar.

_It wasn't you_.

Oh, God.

Jess' numb mouth shapes the name. "Veranke."

When she looks up, there's a tear tracing a path down Carol's cheek.

"I didn't know," Carol says, softly, miserably. "She was there and we all thought she was you, and she kissed me and she stayed the night and it was everything I ever wanted. We were together for months and and I thought-- I thought it was real--"

Carol knew exactly what she liked, and she hadn't been guessing.

Jess can't speak.

Carol's mouth twists. "I wanted it for real and I thought if I was brave enough, if I was strong enough, if I just didn't think about what happened, then maybe we could have this after all. The way it was supposed to be." Another tear slides down Carol's face. "But she used to touch me just like you just did, on the cheek, and I-- and I--"

Jess wants to be sick. The Skrulls took everything she wanted and used it, twisted it, tainted it. She'd thought Carol had seen the real her, but Carol had looked at her and seen Veranke, seen the ghost haunting her forever. She'd just hid it better than the rest. The Skrulls ruined both of them, and now they have to live with it.

"I can't," Carol says.

Turning away, Carol shuts her eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning: Carol was sleeping with Veranke during Secret Invasion. Carol didn't realize Veranke wasn't Jess at the time, and she wouldn't have slept with her, had she known. Carol and Jess sleep together, and Carol attempts to conceal her relationship with Veranke from Jess.
> 
> Also, here is a [Tumblr post](http://sineala.tumblr.com/post/182168814744/fic-comes-out-wrong) for your reblogging/liking edification.


End file.
